Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize