Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
