My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
