my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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