In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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