pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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