Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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