carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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