Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
