Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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