my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
