i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
