i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
