i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
