I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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