I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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