remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
