wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize