whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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