I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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