I'm going to jail i love you
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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