You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
