i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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