Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
