me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
