Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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