Jerry, you need to find god
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
