I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
