a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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