OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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