so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
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You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
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We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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