hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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