lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize