a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
