my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
