i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
