May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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