6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
did i walk over a car last night?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
