i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
