I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
