Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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