it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
