Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
