Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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