they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
