he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
