She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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