sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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