Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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