he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
