She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So many bounce houses so little time
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
