I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
