my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
