i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
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It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
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Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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