There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
