Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
