We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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