omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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