you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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