I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
