You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
