I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
