His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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