Its about making memories worth repressing
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
