the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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