so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize