I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
