so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
