i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
