Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
